Simplicity

The Lord speaks in an uncensored fashion.  I have learned to write down the words He speaks to me, without the felt need to determine whether or not those words sound important.  Some days, I just hear His words of love for me.  He is not always shedding light on Scripture; He may just speak encouragement, validation, and acceptance.  Sometimes, simple is better:  He is real, He is here now, He is in me, and I am loved!

His Spirit in my spirit just wants loving communion with me.  Fixing me is not as much His agenda as it is mine. He does not talk to me just to straighten me out or to teach me a lesson.  He talks to me because He wants me to know His love for me.  He wants me to experience His love in ways that I have yet to experience.  Although His love heals and corrects, more importantly, His love assures me that He is with me always.

His love will correct my error, no doubt.  Not necessarily because He speaks an answer to a puzzling question, but rather, because a person who knows that he or she is loved is also a person who is able to walk uprightly. Warped areas are abandoned when love aligns my soul; my whole being blossoms and I walk out of the barren land. His desire is to love me with His intimate words quietly within my own heart. His indwelling presence imparts stability, dignity, and self-worth – all of which help to make my crooked places straight!

I come to Him now and expect to be loved, not schooled.  His love will naturally cause me to believe the best about myself and to trust His life in me to conquer every foe.  As I receive His love in every little way that He reveals it, I realize that I am blessed and highly favored!  He is for me.  He is my rear guard and He goes before me.  He is a hedge that surrounds me and He eternally satisfies my need to be loved.

His love will revolutionize my life, therefore I focus on Him and on receiving His love.  In that, all these other things are added.  The love of God changes everything – including my ability to love myself.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us.  1 John 4:9-10 (NASB)

May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.  2 Thessalonians 3:5 (NASB)

Where there is unbelief, there is no rest. Unbelief keeps me working in the hope that one day I will accomplish enough to be worthy of rest.  But rest is not the result of work, it is the result of faith.

Rest occurs when I trust that all the work is already done even though I wasn’t the one to do it.  My external behavior will always reflect my inner posture.  Am I struggling? Am I able to rest in the quality of the work done by someone else?  How often do I feel the need to follow up behind them to make sure the job was done according to my standard?  True rest comes to me when I do not think of myself more highly than I ought!

I am not the only one who can do a job right; and just because it was done differently than I would have done it, does not mean it was done wrong!  Arrogance won’t let me experience the rest that could come to me in the form of another person.  When I can let someone else do the work for me then I am entering the beginning stages of rest.  Peace occurs when I don’t heed the false need to improve upon the work they did.

It is important to receive a gift (or help) for what and how it is.  Help is not necessarily what I thought I needed, wanted or even asked for.  Like any gift, help is often given at the whim of the giver. To receive the nakedness of the gift that was given means I won’t try to exchange if for something else.  Only when a gift is fully received can it be fully revealed and thus appreciated.

God gives the gift of people.  Appreciation opens the gift, and its meaning and purpose is then cultivated over time. People are fragile (yet flexible) gifts and God intends careful handling.  His are good and perfect gifts to be engaged lovingly and respectfully at all times. As I look with wonderment at the differences between God’s gifts (people), I gain appreciation for His discernment of which gifts most compliment my being.

His gifts aren’t always an obvious pairing.  The seeming mismatch may be difficult to appreciate, but the unique perspectives are not without reason.   There is much to glean from each other’s point of reference.  We need not rush toward the agreement that may come later.  I am encouraged to enjoy the differences instead of trying to coerce conformity.

Spiritually speaking, there is no real work left to be done.  The only thing left is the rest.  There is a strong contrast between rest and work, love and law, desire and obligation.  Obligation feels hard, like work.  Desire feels easy, like rest.  I am meant to live in the ease of being myself and living in restful agreement with who I am.  From the place of true desire I can accomplish many things.  I may look busy but I live rested.

Rest is the satisfaction that comes at the end of a day well spent (not well earned).  To spend a good day is to draw generously from the bounty of eternal days within me.  I spend them freely because of my sense of abundance and belonging. Trying to earn a sense of satisfaction holds the limitations of a false sense of self and separation. Self-made good days come few and far between.

A day filled with true rest and peace is drawn from the awareness of inner faith; that place within me that knows that the Father has made all things well within me and that there is nothing in me that is not already making a full return to Him.  This is rest and peace; this is the atmosphere of grace that allows me to grow unhindered by the resistance of judgment and criticism.  I am finished.

Time with the family was needed but the intensity of the desire didn’t surface until I was in their company. Christmas was wonderful. Michele had arranged a tiny, vintage RV as a “private suite.” It was parked outside their front door which made it seem like a cozy attachment to their home. Michele strung Christmas lights on the outside of the RV and made an outdoor seating area with a pathway lined with candy cane lights! Inside was a miniature Christmas Tree! I fell in love with this tiny “home away from home” and Michele’s welcoming touches stirred the emotions deeply. I slept wonderfully!

The time in California was laid back and computer free. Hanging with the family was easy and breezy. I felt for Eric…between working overtime and coming home to a fuller house, he was met with unexpected septic tank problems. Arggh! He maintained himself impressively…and it was very nice to sit together and unwind after such potentially trying times!

Brad was visiting from Utah so it was good to have him in the mix with Ethan and Cole. I love my grandsons – including their enormous amounts of energy! Can anyone say, “Guitar Hero”?! And let’s not forget our “Tech Deck” Mania! Just sitting and watching the boys was healing my lonely-for-them heart. I was drinking in their presence knowing that soon I would be back in my quiet New Mexico surroundings. I couldn’t get enough, and even now my eyes are tearing up.

When we lived only a few miles from each other I saw Michele and the boys once or twice a week for lunch or running errands together. We’d also have our occasional cook-outs and enjoy the Banas “garage band” and karaoke nights while warming ourselves by the Hobo Hottie. Spending a week living under the same roof was not something we’ve ever done. So, in one sense, that is not what any of us “miss.” We miss our close proximity, familiar routines and comfortable get-togethers. That being said, I can’t wait until our next time together…and the little vintage RV I now call the “Banas Bungalow.”