Being Ourselves – Page 2 – Windmills in Moonlight

His Choice

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves Choice
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As I leave self-scrutiny behind, the real “me” is free to emerge. My view into the heart of God is His choice for me; it’s the revelation of who He’s chosen to be in me. From this vantage point I see the scope of all He intends to be through me. I’m confident enough now to let me be – no matter how simplistic the view. It’s easy to adopt the expression of God in another, but I will ache until I am who He’s chosen to be in me. It is this that gives my heart its proper rhythm. Life is asking me to live while pointing out that the only life I will live is the life I will live right now. Life wants to make Pinocchio a real boy and give the Tin man a heart. I’ve longed for passion and now I know…when vision allows me to be me, then my passion for life will fuel my darkest hour.

Barbed Twins

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves Letting Go
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How I see someone (including my own self-view) determines response. If I consider a person inferior or unreceptive, then that person is closed to me and to my input. They may be starving for the truth I could impart, but people just cannot receive from someone who doesn’t believe in who they are. Judgment and comparison are barbed twins. If I use comparison to pit one against another, directly or indirectly, that person will feel judged either consciously or unconsciously. Removing judgment’s disguise is a step toward the love that accepts others and allows them the grace (and space) needed to see their own reality in Christ.

Acceptance vs Expectation

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves Letting Go
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The expectations I quietly put on others is the reason they clam up. Acceptance opens them back up. My life just feels better when people no longer disappoint me. How does this happen? Do they suddenly stop being imperfect? No! It happens as I learn to accept rather than expect. Acceptance liberates the mirroring of Christ; expectation limits us to what others expect from us…it is the mirroring of false projections resulting from performance pressure.

Free to Be Nothing

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
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I keep reminding myself that this blog is free to be nothing. I am not here to try to impress, or to prove anything. I am not writing to validate my right to write, or to justify my entitlement to breath in air. I have felt that way before…like I must defend my existence by being above average in some way. I don’t have to quantify my days with accomplishment, and the value of my actions is not confirmed by whether or not my outcomes are stellar. Life has given me permission to just be…to live and laugh and to take all the space I need for being me. The purity of my innate sense of purpose is no longer tainted by the poison of performance, proficiency, utility, or function. I am far more than what I can or can’t do, and who I am is more important than any skill set. To accept who I am is to unleash the potency of Christ in me as me. I am perfectly equipped to be me…and being me is the most profound act of service I will ever fulfill.

Self Breeds Self

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves Letting Go
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null As I become who I really am, God finally claims what is rightfully His. He is demanding me to “come forth.” Like Lazarus, it’s time to take off the grave clothes and to walk in newness of life. In the freedom of being myself I no longer seek meaning apart from who Christ is in me. Every answer is within me. A new pattern of fearless living and giving is emerging. I have let go of this false claim of having a right to my own self. This selfish objective to carve out a sense of self embodies the very nature of sin. This act of so-called freedom actually destroys freedom. Selfishness has an insatiable need for more. Self breeds self.

Live from selfish motives and what I thought was freedom turns to bondage. I thought I needed to find myself when all I ever needed was to give myself away.

Permission to Be

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
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I know I’m not the only one who’s struggled for the permission to be themselves. Each time I lose awareness of who I am, I start defining myself again by whatever cast I happen to slip into. I look at others and try to be like them so I will know how to fit into this little sub-society. I will take definition from a job, intellect, abilities, associations, opinions, or the opinions of others. But in all of this, I become painfully aware of the bondage of trying to meet the expectations of the stereotype I’ve fallen into.

Freedom to Be

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
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To know myself is to enjoy the freedom of being myself. Without this freedom, I have lived in bondage to trying to be someone I’m not. Trying to be someone else is a heavy load – nothing compares to the lightness I feel when I am “me.” With this freedom comes the liberty to make mistakes with no fear of punishment or repercussion. I have the grace to watch without judgment. My punishing opinions were the source of my fears. I feared my own self punishment more than anything else. As I practice acceptance and forgiveness I find the freedom of movement that is essential to all true progress. I know now that I will never change if I fear the actions I take.

Loss of Definition

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
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Change feels drastic because it messes with identity. Loss of definition makes the skin crawl and given the chance it will re-define itself in a heartbeat. The flesh needs a function, title, or status to feel important. I’m aware of the urge in me that still wants to define itself by what I do or who I know, but I am more aware of the love that knows not to let that happen. I am knowing who I am…and that makes it okay that I don’t know what shape life will take, what I’ll be doing, or who I will know. The loss of outer definition can no longer shake my awareness and acceptance of who I really am.

No Less a Visionary

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
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null I awoke with an inner push hampering my joy. The feeling was both familiar and foreign. Familiar to a former self perception but foreign to who I am today. A deep awareness of the legitimacy of my union with Christ is beginning to interpret old thought patterns as intruders.

The “push” said it wasn’t enough to enjoy writing, communing with the Lord, or to post a few pieces of poetry on a website. The “push” insisted the site must have greater purpose (measured by profitability or popularity). I felt a goad to generate some kind of dynamic site safeguarded against static content. As if that were possible!

The domain was a given to me as a gift – a way for my creative expression to have an outlet. This push that was in play was perverting the purity of the gift by suggesting a moral obligation to write as proof of my worth. This push was coming from the wrong source, no doubt.

Recognition was quick; the voice wasn’t coming from my Lord and therefore it wasn’t for me. I am not currently compelled to promote myself and yet I am no less a visionary. I have permission to keep it simple. I am not where others may be – but to dismiss comparison is to gain the confidence to be myself. I will dismantle all idolatry, tear down each graven image, and allow my individuality in Christ to generate His unique expression through me!