How Does He Love Me?

To seek His kingdom is to seek higher ways, and to seek higher ways is to seek Him! Who is He?  How does He love me?  Since love is who He is (as opposed to what He does) His love for me remains total, absolute, and unqualified.  He loves me just as I am without any coercion towards change. If I never improve, progress, or bear fruit, He still loves me and accepts me as His own. Still, it is natural to bear fruit.  Progress is, by definition, a normal aspect of growth. Humanity was formed from dust, but God also breathed His life into us.  On one-hand we are tied to the earth, on the other we have a God-breathed quest to reach for our heavenly origins. God breathed life into mankind and made us the guardians of creation.  Humanity's fall affected creation on every level, but God had a plan for redemption before the foundation of the world (Revelation 13:8). Christ in us was always our hope of glory. When God looks at us He sees a new creation in Christ. He sees His own righteousness, not religion's self-righteous imposter. His vested righteousness in us is the reason we are freely loved and accepted.  In Christ, nothing can separate us from His love. Christian maturity is usually acknowledged when His righteousness in us makes its way to the outer world in which we live.  We find approval through the manifestation of His higher ways.  Even though we are still loved, we are likely unsatisfied without tangible evidence of His life in us. His divine breath imparted an upward call and it is now our natural desire. 1 Corinthians 15:41-51 says that the first man Adam was made a living soul, the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.  It talks about an earthy natural body, and a spiritual body.  One is sown in corruption and weakness, the other is raised in incorruption and power.  As we have all borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly.  Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; the spiritual inherits the spiritual. Flesh and blood returns to the dust of the earth, for it is earthy.  Our spirit, quickened by His Spirit, is raised in the resurrection of the dead. We have the assurance that we are changed, are being changed, and will be eternally changed. In the here and now, accepting ourselves just as we are is an important step of faith that affirms our belief that we are loved, not because of what we've done, but because of what He's done. It is the key to believing we are loved no matter what.  Knowing that we are loved no matter what relaxes us so that we can receive the grace that will conform us to godliness.  Change has already occurred in spirit; heaven is already within us; we are already living in eternal life. We often make anxious, even violent efforts to get free from certain behaviors because we are, inadvertently, trying to redeem flesh and blood - that which will only return to dust. We try to make ourselves bear the…

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Receiving Love

The Lord speaks in an uncensored fashion.  I have learned to write down the words He speaks to me, without the felt need to determine whether or not those words sound important.  Some days, I just hear His words of love for me.  He is not always shedding light on Scripture; He may just speak encouragement, validation, and acceptance.  Sometimes, simple is better:  He is real, He is here now, He is in me, and I am loved! His Spirit in my spirit just wants loving communion with me.  Fixing me is not as much His agenda as it is mine. He does not talk to me just to straighten me out or to teach me a lesson.  He talks to me because He wants me to know His love for me.  He wants me to experience His love in ways that I have yet to experience.  Although His love heals and corrects, more importantly, His love assures me that He is with me always. His love will correct my error, no doubt.  Not necessarily because He speaks an answer to a puzzling question, but rather, because a person who knows that he or she is loved is also a person who is able to walk uprightly. Warped areas are abandoned when love aligns my soul; my whole being blossoms and I walk out of the barren land. His desire is to love me with His intimate words quietly within my own heart. His indwelling presence imparts stability, dignity, and self-worth - all of which help to make my crooked places straight! I come to Him now and expect to be loved, not schooled.  His love will naturally cause me to believe the best about myself and to trust His life in me to conquer every foe.  As I receive His love in every little way that He reveals it, I realize that I am blessed and highly favored!  He is for me.  He is my rear guard and He goes before me.  He is a hedge that surrounds me and He eternally satisfies my need to be loved. His love will revolutionize my life, therefore I focus on Him and on receiving His love.  In that, all these other things are added.  The love of God changes everything - including my ability to love myself. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us.  1 John 4:9-10 (NASB) May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.  2 Thessalonians 3:5 (NASB)

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Our Entire Human Experience

My clumsy mistakes in life are redeemed by love. Learning to love my entire human experience is helping me develop gratefulness for how intricately I am made. A healthy view of myself is building a self-respect that protects me from the opinions, prejudices, and false notions of how life should look.  The indwelling life of Christ is my hope for realizing dignity, hope, and attainable goals for my life. He is the key to focusing on that which is eternal instead of that which is temporal, and for acting in accordance with who I really (already) am. If I am already where I want to be - raised up and seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6) - then I don't have to try to get there. This ends the struggle of trying to fix mistakes or the fear of feeling the need to reverse the damages.  From God's vantage point, everything in my life has produced results. It took it all to get me here. Yes,  erroneous beliefs form imbalances but even the imbalances have taught me well. I can embrace it as the mentor it has been. Through it I have found my undeniable need for an awareness of His active presence; I have been leveled as I came face to face with my own humanity.  Through it I have understood the struggle of others; I have been humbled.  It has been my journey toward accepting who I am, who I am not, what I want, and what I don't want. A cycle of failure led me to greater faith.  It led me to a determination to view myself in union with His life, and to an absolute trust in His ability to work all things out for the good...His indwelling presence has always led me to peace. Fighting addictive behavior (as though it were my enemy) only strengthened addictive behavior. To comprehend this principle frees me to love my enemy as that which has led me to faith. Here's the paradox: It is the fight that kept me from the truth and it is the fight that led me to the truth. In the end, it is love that won the war. My Lord continues to carve the private spaces within me where He and I can discuss the freedom for which Christ has set me free. In this space I remember all that I know. It is in this secret chamber that I am stilled so that I can know that He is God. It is here that I catch glimpses of new ways of living, moving, and being. For a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him…

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Tangled Messes

There are occasions when I return to an exercise in uncensored writing.  It is how I unload without the hindrance of feeling the need to watch my words or over-analyse my faith posture.  I express confusion, doubt, anxiety, torment, anger, or any other emotion, without preaching myself a sermon on why I should or should not be feeling those feelings.  The Lord uses these occasions to unravel tangled messes. The twisted subject of weight loss is a good example.  I have been emptying my soul on this subject for some time.  It feels like the whole topic has taken the form of idolatry. Have I let the quest for weight loss identify me?  Do I believe that others judge me based on outward appearances?  Is that how I judge myself? I think too much about the need to lose weight.  The cycle of failure on this subject is intense.  Voices from the past are still audible. Confusion mounts:  Am I simply not resting my faith on His ability in me? Is this a thorn in my flesh meant to keep me relying upon the Lord?  Should I leave the subject alone because of how all-consuming it has become?  A reasoning mind can find support for all three variables, which only adds to the paralysis. This much I know, my way of escaping confusion is to allow the search for His reality in me to be my singular quest.  All the other questions, answers, and needs will fall in line behind that one quest.  I want to exercise discipline, but I want it to be discipline attached to the awareness of His life in me. I don't want to revert to the impotence of self-discipline that ends up in self-disappointment. I want to tap His discipline in me as a means of knowing Him.  I want to experience His presence as He flows  through this vessel.  He is able to do far more than I can ask or think. So, here I am, surrendering all of this…again!  I shift my focus back to Him, to seeking His face, and trusting that He will awaken my hunger to know Him as He really is.  Christ in me is temperate. Who I really am is temperate. I deeply desire to manifest His attributes, bear His fruit, and  reflect His character. That is the true nature of my being, the natural bend of this new creation.

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A Relationship With Faith

The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.  But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.  Romans 14:22-23 (NASB) The faith which I have, I have as my own conviction before God. I am happy when I don't condemn myself in what I approve.  How are convictions established before God? What brings condemnation? If doubt condemns me, it is because my action no longer proceeds from faith.  What causes actions to separate from faith?   The statement, 'whatever is not from faith is sin,' is both broad and narrow.  It takes everything and condenses it to one thing - faith. Faith includes personal convictions before God.  It is in His presence that the certainty of His word is established within my heart. With an awareness of His indwelling presence, the sound and tone of His word is individualized and takes on the formation of personal convictions.  Faith takes shape as He becomes my guide and compass.  Permission is granted or denied as I learn the sound of His speaking voice within the pages of His written word.  I fall in love with the word, not as a book, but as a Person. Convictions are established in fellowship with Him as He reveals the character of His word. Living happily (without condemnation) and confidently (in my own convictions) rests in relationship with God.  His presence reveals His word in such a way that my trust capacity is expanded.  Belief turns to conviction and conviction turns to unshakeable faith.  I learn to walk in the light that I have attained, without lagging behind or walking ahead.  My conscience becomes His candle and He uses it to illuminate my path.  The permissions and restrictions of others begin to have less effect on me. I live by the standard to which I have attained and allow others that same freedom. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.  Philippians 3:15-16 (NASB) If I walk outside of my own convictions then I undergo doubt.  If I take an action without full persuasion or permission, then I will experience a backlash of condemnation.  Not because the action was right or wrong, but because it did not proceed from faith.  Relationship with God is a relationship with faith; faith increases as I distinguish His discernible voice in me.  Faith brings freedom of movement; my gait glides along expansively as faith shines light further down my pathway. As faith expands, I find that all things are lawful, and yet they may not promote my best interest or the best interest of others.  Loving others is more important than exercising personal liberties.  Therefore, I learn the…

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Active Faith

Life (as a journey) has a sweet way of validating the truth that God doesn't lie and His ways are always higher.  I am grateful for Christ as my unhindered, unafraid, loving access to the Father. Our lives have joined; we have a shared aim - His ways in me are slowly shaping my own way of living. Today I see grace and its direct link to faith.  I am to live by faith.  Living apart from faith is only a semblance of living; it has an appearance of authenticity but is banefully misleading.  Just going through the motions of life is not the abundant life I have been promised.  Faith, working through love, is everything.  Faith is the undercurrent of peace that allows me to take action.  Faith is the formal side of my personal trust in the Father.  Faith is the foundation of rest in times of tumult.  Faith authors each choice.  Faith activates grace...and faith only works through love. It is this activation of grace that is clearer today than yesterday.  On the outside, one action can look identical to another action. On the inside, the landscape can be far different!  When the Lord shifts my focus, alters my perception, and clears my path, then I will find myself walking the same path I previously walked but it will seem completely different.  I will find myself walking in a faith that is directly linked with grace.  Until faith sparks freedom from fear, I am unable to hold onto the grace that ignites forward motion.   With faith comes grace and the two (mixed together) change my results. What's the difference?  Active faith is the difference.  Active faith is consciously aware that my most substantial self is in union with His substance in me.  Living life without this kind of faith means that I can go through all the right motions, but the results remain weak and ineffectual. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision carries any weight--the only thing that matters is faith working through love. Galatians 5:6 (NET) The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.  But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.  Romans 14:22-23 (NASB)

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The Sound of His Voice

Change and growth occur as I gracefully grow into changes that reflect who I am - even as who I am comes into focus. This ugly duckling becomes a swan in time.  The fruit eventually bears the good nature of the seed. Developmental stages may look awkward, but in the end, Christ is reflected in me, as me. Conscious reliance on Christ is my practice. It is the work of intentionally believing in a me that is in union with Christ. It is not easy to rely on His action within me, especially if I can't see the work He's doing; but He's asked me to trust even when it seems He is neglecting promises. I hold true when the flesh taunts my trust. The Lord elates more over a victory in my heart than a victory in my flesh. Uncommon travail procures a trusting heart.  His unrelenting petition is that I trust His life to move me into action. My friend, Claudia, once said, "I love the sound of His voice in me even when it comes from another." Her words were an echo of His voice in me and yes, I loved their sound!  For several years He's been causing me to trust Him apart from any other source. He has been causing me to respect (love) the sound of His voice in me and to recognize that voice even as it comes through another.  He has been digging for trust (like gold) and has shown me the richness of His vein resting in me. I would rather die trusting God than live trusting the flesh and its egotistical ways. Christ's life is active. His method for change is rising like the natural leaven of this new creation. Change is a distinct feature of my being because He is.  My view has softened. Hard times are part of life; they are not hard lessons that denote wrong choice, slow choice, passive choice, or the refusal of choice.  This new heart responds favorably to His love - every time. Submission and obedience are a natural response to being loved. The Spirit of Christ is the Inborn Teacher in my heart and I learn by observing His life in me.  I am watching Him integrate the role of the teacher, lesson, and student.  This union is making it easier to resist the old thought pattern that separates me from the Teacher and from the lesson I am already in the process of learning - whether willingly or with resistance. Learning is a gift received through union with Christ. Hard lessons are not waiting around to be taught; a life of learning is waiting to be spontaneously lived - in peace and joy and in the absence of fear.

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Trusting Enough

If I say that I trust God enough to let Him do the work in me, then the challenge is to trust Him enough to not try to do it in a way that acts as though Christ is not present within me.  This is a vigilant posture; everything in the flesh or ego wants to tackle the job from an independent stance - self wants credit for the changes that occur.  Religious jargon provokes vain attempts to try to conquer my own foe. The flesh lusts for the power and glory that belong to God. A question I ask myself is whether or not I will receive God's love despite the weaknesses of the flesh.  Can I remain in peace and rest in the face of frailty?  If nothing can separate me from His love then doesn't that include the offensiveness of the flesh?  Will I love others and myself with His love and resist the demand that we first fix our flesh or ego? The flesh is an attention-seeker with an endless campaign to enlist self-effort.  It wants to earn love by seeming victorious. It is silenced as I recall that it is God (quietly at work in me) who treads down my enemy.  It is the pride of the flesh that the Lord despises...not my weaknesses. Can I remain still even when it seems like God isn't on the job?  Can I trust Him even if it seems He is neglecting His promise? Can I love myself even when it seems like flesh is winning and making a mockery out of my trust? To trust Him is also to accept my feelings of nakedness...allowing His Spirit to clothe me while Christ is growing up in me. Christ in me is my only hope of glory.  He was the model of new creation living.  His union with the Father was a revelation of God's original blueprint. God always intended to inhabit humanity - to flow through us in seamless unity just as He did in Christ.  Jesus gave substance and tangibility to God's plan when He took sin and separation with Him into death, burial, and resurrection. God is able to delight in me in the here and now because His righteousness is upon me in Christ. Jesus operated from union with God in full measure. His being and doing were fully eclipsed and yet even He grew into Himself.  There was a moment in which He realized He was born of a different Father than that of His peers. His life was drawn from a different Source.  Once He saw His Father He did what He saw His Father doing. The mystifying plan to re-birth humanity was set in motion.  A new breed was seeded, and Jesus was the first born among many brethren. Jesus walked in unpolluted union with God.  He was not born of Adam, thus He never knew the seed of separation. He was capable of sin, yet without sin.  He had only One Father. He…

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No Judgment

Judgment can be a ravenous wolf or subtle like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  It finds its way into the fold any way it can and even whispers through the veil of many prayers.  Variations of the 'thank God I'm not like other people' prayer abound. I want to see the truth that when I judge another, I judge myself.  It is a two-edged sword and I cannot have one without the other. When I draw conclusions about you, I pronounce judgment and execute a sentence upon myself to perform in opposition of that which I have judged. It can be as simple as saying, "You are messy", and in that moment a demand is put upon myself to "be tidy".  The judgment places a rule upon myself and bondage is its fruit.  With every judgment comes a sentence and with every sentence comes imprisonment. Inevitably, I find myself living within the confines of trying not to be like you even though I inherently know that, in actuality, I am just like you.  Living becomes a performance impossible to sustain.  I will fail, and in so doing I will be found guilty of that which I judged.

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Organically Choosing Life

I looked in a concordance and found that the word choose (in Hebrew) means: to take a close look at something to determine my preference in the matter. It holds the connotation of testing or examining.  The root origin is related to tilling, turning over, or preparing the ground. The idea is that, through examination, I am able to distinguish the best or most useful options in my life. I believe making a choice is more organic than commonly assumed.  Organically speaking, I grow into choices that reflect who I am even as who I am comes into focus. An ugly duckling of a choice becomes a swan in time.  True choosing is a process and like any process it is perfected over time.  The fruit born proves the good nature of the seed that was planted. There are stages in its development when it will look awkward, but in the end, it is a reflection of Christ in me, as me. As I am asked to 'choose life' I am asked to take a keen look, to test and examine life, to till its ground...until I am able to recognize life as my most valuable option. I choose through recognition. If I liken choice to preference then self-awareness plays a key role in making choices that fit. To know myself is to know my preferences. It is a matter of identity - a key element of the gospel.  My inability to choose God was solved when God chose me. Fallen humanity had a fallen nature - filled with fallen choices. God solved this conundrum by crucifying fallen humanity in Christ, joining us to Himself, making a brand new creation where the two have become one. The goal of the gospel is to reveal God's view.  God sees me in union with Christ. Words like fallen, cursed, or sin-natured are false images in the context of a new creation. I am not depraved, hard-hearted, sinful, disobedient, unwilling, unteachable, unsubmitted, or rebellious. These words simply do not define a new creature. I share in Christ's divine nature; His nature is infusing my own and my choices are affected by that truth. Redemption is a reality but it is hard to manifest when the 'good news' I continue to hear is far less than good! Many voices would tie me to a corrupt nature, even though the Gospel is radically good news that claims otherwise.  More good news still, God uses all things for the good of those who love Him.  I don't need to be preoccupied with darkness or light; God uses them both for His purpose. To believe Him and to trust His work is to remember all He did to fashion this new creation.  Remembering who I am in each moment is the work that automatically aligns choice with true preference. I choose according to who I perceive myself to be. Who I perceive myself to be is changing everyday. Choosing is a simple matter of self-recognition. To see…

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