Yearly Archives: 2013

Receiving Love

The Lord speaks in an uncensored fashion.  I have learned to write down the words He speaks to me, without the felt need to determine whether or not those words sound important.  Some days, I just hear His words of love for me.  He is not always shedding light on Scripture; He may just speak encouragement, validation, and acceptance.  Sometimes, simple is better:  He is real, He is here now, He is in me, and I am loved!

His Spirit in my spirit just wants loving communion with me.  Fixing me is not as much His agenda as it is mine. He does not talk to me just to straighten me out or to teach me a lesson.  He talks to me because He wants me to know His love for me.  He wants me to experience His love in ways that I have yet to experience.  Although His love heals and corrects, more importantly, His love assures me that He is with me always.

His love will correct my error, no doubt.  Not necessarily because He speaks an answer to a puzzling question, but rather, because a person who knows that he or she is loved is also a person who is able to walk uprightly. Warped areas are abandoned when love aligns my soul; my whole being blossoms and I walk out of the barren land. His desire is to love me with His intimate words quietly within my own heart. His indwelling presence imparts stability, dignity, and self-worth – all of which help to make my crooked places straight!

I come to Him now and expect to be loved, not schooled.  His love will naturally cause me to believe the best about myself and to trust His life in me to conquer every foe.  As I receive His love in every little way that He reveals it, I realize that I am blessed and highly favored!  He is for me.  He is my rear guard and He goes before me.  He is a hedge that surrounds me and He eternally satisfies my need to be loved.

His love will revolutionize my life, therefore I focus on Him and on receiving His love.  In that, all these other things are added.  The love of God changes everything – including my ability to love myself.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us.  1 John 4:9-10 (NASB)

May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.  2 Thessalonians 3:5 (NASB)

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Our Entire Human Experience

My clumsy mistakes in life are redeemed by love. Learning to love my entire human experience is helping me develop gratefulness for how intricately I am made. A healthy view of myself is building a self-respect that protects me from the opinions, prejudices, and false notions of how life should look.  The indwelling life of Christ is my hope for realizing dignity, hope, and attainable goals for my life. He is the key to focusing on that which is eternal instead of that which is temporal, and for acting in accordance with who I really (already) am.

If I am already where I want to be – raised up and seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6) – then I don’t have to try to get there. This ends the struggle of trying to fix mistakes or the fear of feeling the need to reverse the damages.  From God’s vantage point, everything in my life has produced results. It took it all to get me here. Yes,  erroneous beliefs form imbalances but even the imbalances have taught me well. I can embrace it as the mentor it has been. Through it I have found my undeniable need for an awareness of His active presence; I have been leveled as I came face to face with my own humanity.  Through it I have understood the struggle of others; I have been humbled.  It has been my journey toward accepting who I am, who I am not, what I want, and what I don’t want. A cycle of failure led me to greater faith.  It led me to a determination to view myself in union with His life, and to an absolute trust in His ability to work all things out for the good…His indwelling presence has always led me to peace.

Fighting addictive behavior (as though it were my enemy) only strengthened addictive behavior. To comprehend this principle frees me to love my enemy as that which has led me to faith. Here’s the paradox: It is the fight that kept me from the truth and it is the fight that led me to the truth. In the end, it is love that won the war. My Lord continues to carve the private spaces within me where He and I can discuss the freedom for which Christ has set me free. In this space I remember all that I know. It is in this secret chamber that I am stilled so that I can know that He is God. It is here that I catch glimpses of new ways of living, moving, and being.

For a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9 (NIV)

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Tangled Messes

There are occasions when I return to an exercise in uncensored writing.  It is how I unload without the hindrance of feeling the need to watch my words or over-analyse my faith posture.  I express confusion, doubt, anxiety, torment, anger, or any other emotion, without preaching myself a sermon on why I should or should not be feeling those feelings.  The Lord uses these occasions to unravel tangled messes.

The twisted subject of weight loss is a good example.  I have been emptying my soul on this subject for some time.  It feels like the whole topic has taken the form of idolatry. Have I let the quest for weight loss identify me?  Do I believe that others judge me based on outward appearances?  Is that how I judge myself?

I think too much about the need to lose weight.  The cycle of failure on this subject is intense.  Voices from the past are still audible. Confusion mounts:  Am I simply not resting my faith on His ability in me? Is this a thorn in my flesh meant to keep me relying upon the Lord?  Should I leave the subject alone because of how all-consuming it has become?  A reasoning mind can find support for all three variables, which only adds to the paralysis.

This much I know, my way of escaping confusion is to allow the search for His reality in me to be my singular quest.  All the other questions, answers, and needs will fall in line behind that one quest.  I want to exercise discipline, but I want it to be discipline attached to the awareness of His life in me. I don’t want to revert to the impotence of self-discipline that ends up in self-disappointment.

I want to tap His discipline in me as a means of knowing Him.  I want to experience His presence as He flows  through this vessel.  He is able to do far more than I can ask or think. So, here I am, surrendering all of this…again!  I shift my focus back to Him, to seeking His face, and trusting that He will awaken my hunger to know Him as He really is.  Christ in me is temperate. Who I really am is temperate. I deeply desire to manifest His attributes, bear His fruit, and  reflect His character. That is the true nature of my being, the natural bend of this new creation.

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A Relationship With Faith

The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.  But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.  Romans 14:22-23 (NASB)

The faith which I have, I have as my own conviction before God. I am happy when I don’t condemn myself in what I approve.  How are convictions established before God? What brings condemnation? If doubt condemns me, it is because my action no longer proceeds from faith.  What causes actions to separate from faith?   The statement, ‘whatever is not from faith is sin,’ is both broad and narrow.  It takes everything and condenses it to one thing – faith.

Faith includes personal convictions before God.  It is in His presence that the certainty of His word is established within my heart. With an awareness of His indwelling presence, the sound and tone of His word is individualized and takes on the formation of personal convictions.  Faith takes shape as He becomes my guide and compass.  Permission is granted or denied as I learn the sound of His speaking voice within the pages of His written word.  I fall in love with the word, not as a book, but as a Person. Convictions are established in fellowship with Him as He reveals the character of His word.

Living happily (without condemnation) and confidently (in my own convictions) rests in relationship with God.  His presence reveals His word in such a way that my trust capacity is expanded.  Belief turns to conviction and conviction turns to unshakeable faith.  I learn to walk in the light that I have attained, without lagging behind or walking ahead.  My conscience becomes His candle and He uses it to illuminate my path.  The permissions and restrictions of others begin to have less effect on me. I live by the standard to which I have attained and allow others that same freedom.

Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.  Philippians 3:15-16 (NASB)

If I walk outside of my own convictions then I undergo doubt.  If I take an action without full persuasion or permission, then I will experience a backlash of condemnation.  Not because the action was right or wrong, but because it did not proceed from faith.  Relationship with God is a relationship with faith; faith increases as I distinguish His discernible voice in me.  Faith brings freedom of movement; my gait glides along expansively as faith shines light further down my pathway.

As faith expands, I find that all things are lawful, and yet they may not promote my best interest or the best interest of others.  Loving others is more important than exercising personal liberties.  Therefore, I learn the wisdom of keeping certain freedoms private; my liberty may expand, but it is not intended to constrict another.

Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.  Romans 14:13-14 (NASB)

Other people’s freedom does not need to mirror mine.  The carnal flesh craves that kind of conformity because it has a false need for validation, but the spirit does not.  The spirit trusts that relationship with the Lord will train each believer in their own matters of conscience.  I can become an obstacle if I judge the conscience of another or disclose unnecessary knowledge about my own.  Knowledge of my convictions may goad another to mimic my freedom, acting against their own conscience, and vice-versa.  It is enough for each person to walk in their own light by faith.  I don’t want to judge the light level of another or make unkind comparisons in order to gauge whose light bulb is using more faith-watts!

Likewise, people may unwittingly try to lead me along their path – but it is my faith that I live by, not theirs.  If I try to walk their path then doubt will gain mass.  Questions will dizzy my head.  The questions will breed confusion and the confusion will paralyze mobility.  Instead of proceeding in the spirit, I will recede into the flesh.  Questions multiplied by the flesh will remain in play until I am returned to His voice in me rather than inadvertently relying upon His voice in another.  The Lord eliminates every question but His own– which is the only question He asks me to answer.

Condemnation is a by-product of doubt and doubt occurs in the absence of personal conviction.  Personal convictions are forged in the redeeming fires of intimacy.  We are drawn to Him like a moth to a flame.  It is only the flesh that fears His closeness; the spirit welcomes His imprint like the seal of the King’s ring in hot wax.

The spirit does not fear the flame that heats the wax.  It welcomes the signet of the King’s ring as an imprint of His likeness. The King’s ring bears a symbol that authenticates His ownership and the surety of His word, and that becomes the guarantee of a future promise.  And so I draw near in the absence of fear.  I allow Him to fire up His word, to forge personal convictions, and to be the One who makes both you and I stand firm in Christ.

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.  2 Corinthians 1:21-22 (NIV)

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