I Wait, but I Walk; I Walk, but I Wait
God is both the Author and the Finisher of my faith. He creates, and He maintains what He has created. I am His and He provides for me. Even nature heralds the sweet dependency of waiting upon Him for all things. As I wait, He increases and I decrease; therefore I continue to trust His instruction for me to wait for His “irresistible movement” within me. Waiting on Him is restoration in motion. I feel most at home in the awareness that I am wholly dependent on Him; it is the necessity of my true being. Unceasing dependence upon Him is cleansing my faith and religious beliefs. It is the raw expression of my relationship with Him in whom I live and move and have my being. I wait on Him and He awakens my whole attention as His servant and His vessel.
I am not waiting on myself to see what I feel or what changes will come to me. I wait on God; first to know Who He is, and then to see what He will do. I only want to do those things that I see Him doing in me; as I wait in Him He purifies the view of His life in mine. His word makes known His ways, His grace makes known His power. I wait, and He ignites both within my heart.
I cannot keep His ways any more than I can manufacture grace. To try is to strip my every confidence in Him. I am surrendered to willingly and trustingly keep His ways…but in the strength I receive as I wait in Him. I do not doubt that I am His without reserve. He proves Himself to be my God as He works in me that which is pleasing in His sight through Christ.
I see His ways in His word, as nature unfolds, as His providence points them out, and as the Holy Spirit indicates. But I know them as I wait in His presence. It matters not that I am weak, only that I am willing…and He takes care of that. He who has worked to will, will also work to do by His power. My waiting is born in recognition of my impotence and His omnipotence. He is the only true power there is. I am content to receive from Him (each moment) the workings of His grace and life. Waiting on God is my strength to run and not be weary, to walk and never faint.
I wait, but I walk. I walk, but I wait. If the fleshly mind takes hold it will misconstrue the motive. The flesh makes “action” the highest measure of man. Its emphasis assumes too much autonomy and will subtly separate doing from being. As a doer of the word (not a hearer only) I must remember that the word is spirit not flesh. Acting on the word is a spiritual response. It belongs to the spirit and when proceeding from the spirit it is true obedience. If we act from our union with Christ – then action cannot be separated from Him. We obey, but with such overshadowing that the action is barely distinguishable as our own. It is Christ, behaving effortlessly and baring no resemblance to what we formerly called obedience.
Action and obedience occur. Some actions come quick, others take longer, but the effort is Christ’s. The hard part is the waiting. To embrace life as a receiver is uncomfortable;it is easy to be misjudged. A long season of waiting is at odds with an action-oriented society that is quick with labels like lazy, selfish, or passive. Mine is to stay the course, to receive life (instead of trying to make it happen) and to trust that every action eventually takes flight in union. Then I will know that I am truly living, yet not I, but Christ is living in, by, through, for, and as me.