Blog

People are very different from one another. It’s less painful to believe that we accept (even appreciate) differences than it is to notice the subtle nuances of our intolerance. It’s common to draw a comparison to portray a distinctiveness in ourselves. If too critical, we may temper the comparison by insisting there’s nothing wrong with our differences, and yet the closing comment will usually rest with our gratefulness for being who we are…by comparison. Judgment hides itself well in the soft light of comparison.

Some judgments seem less poisonous than others. For instance, we could compare differences in dishwashing styles. One may like to pre-rinse the dishes so they don’t dirty the water. Another may merely scrape remnants into the trash, put the dishes in the water, and ignore tiny floaters that may swish by. While noticing the different styles, the first one might say, “I’m not telling you how to wash dishes, I just do it differently. I like to wash dishes in clean water instead of dirty water.” The last line is where judgment is hiding behind comparison. There is a little dig hidden therein; it is so easy for simple comparison to into full-blown judgment.

A remark like that seems innocuous; but when judgment is masked behind comparison, “acceptance talk” doesn’t make it less venomous. Truthfully, we often think our way is better. If we’re honest about how we feel another might improve his or her life, it often translates to becoming more like us. “They have a certain weakness, I do not. If they would do what I do they wouldn’t have that weakness. They’d be better…because they’d be more like me.” It isn’t always a conscious thought, but when translated, it is often the underlying sentiment.

Comparing ourselves with others is a conflict of distinction. A conflict of distinction is a rejection of uniqueness. Are we afraid to be different and distinct? Can we allow others to be different and retain their equality with us?

With uniqueness comes daring. We can liberate ourselves and others by choosing words that offer genuine applause for our differences. To do so is to respect God’s diversity. Fear tells us we won’t be liked if we’re different or we won’t fit in; we may be rejected or shunned. What if God has authored a different translation in us from those around us? That thought is frightening but we need not worry for we are safe in God; the sound we make is His to orchestrate – His way, for His reasons.

The subtle insistence upon outer conformity is the enemy of true unity. We take comfort when the thinking pattern of another closely resembles our own. If we’ve deviated 20 degrees from the “norm” of Christian perspective, we accept others who’ve done the same. When we collide with those traveling 50 degrees “off the beaten path” then the difference feels extreme.  Fear has the capability of keeping us closed-minded and unwilling to see the gospel from a point of view that is unfamiliar – even when it has scriptural verity.  We feel more comfortable with those who are most like ourselves – and it is this unnamed insistence on outer conformity that hinders the grace-filled work of true unity and minimizes our view of God.

I used to wonder why God tore down the Tower of Babel. Their unity was enabling them to build a tower to reach the heavens. Unity is good, right? Yet He confounded the languages – making communication difficult and unification next to impossible. Perhaps it was a safeguard against the flesh and its attempt to emulate the spirit.

True unity is born of the Spirit and the flesh can’t touch it. Outer conformity is “counterfeit unity” manufactured by the flesh. Judgment is the tool most used to coerce conformity. Comparison is fleshly and divisive – born of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. True appreciation of differences is spiritual and unifying – born of the Tree of Life – where all is only good.

There can be no safe comparison without clear qualifiers. I may say, “I am one way and you are another.” To qualify the statement is to ensure the understanding that I perceive the differences as being God-ordained, God-designed, God-intended, God-valued, and God-be-glorified! We can only truly appreciate who we are when we are not depreciating anyone else. Drawing a comparison is tricky business. We must use caution, tread softly, and honor Christ by trusting that He IS the difference we see in one another!