Yearly Archives: 2010

Trusting Enough

If I say that I trust God enough to let Him do the work in me, then the challenge is to trust Him enough to not try to do it in a way that acts as though Christ is not present within me.  This is a vigilant posture; everything in the flesh or ego wants to tackle the job from an independent stance - self wants credit for the changes that occur.  Religious jargon provokes vain attempts to try to conquer my own foe. The flesh lusts for the power and glory that belong to God. A question I ask myself is whether or not I will receive God's love despite the weaknesses of the flesh.  Can I remain in peace and rest in the face of frailty?  If nothing can separate me from His love then doesn't that include the offensiveness of the flesh?  Will I love others and myself with His love and resist the demand that we first fix our flesh or ego? The flesh is an attention-seeker with an endless campaign to enlist self-effort.  It wants to earn love by seeming victorious. It is silenced as I recall that it is God (quietly at work in me) who treads down my enemy.  It is the pride of the flesh that the Lord despises...not my weaknesses. Can I remain still even when it seems like God isn't on the job?  Can I trust Him even if it seems He is neglecting His promise? Can I love myself even when it seems like flesh is winning and making a mockery out of my trust? To trust Him is also to accept my feelings of nakedness...allowing His Spirit to clothe me while Christ is growing up in me. Christ in me is my only hope of glory.  He was the model of new creation living.  His union with the Father was a revelation of God's original blueprint. God always intended to inhabit humanity - to flow through us in seamless unity just as He did in Christ.  Jesus gave substance and tangibility to God's plan when He took sin and separation with Him into death, burial, and resurrection. God is able to delight in me in the here and now because His righteousness is upon me in Christ. Jesus operated from union with God in full measure. His being and doing were fully eclipsed and yet even He grew into Himself.  There was a moment in which He realized He was born of a different Father than that of His peers. His life was drawn from a different Source.  Once He saw His Father He did what He saw His Father doing. The mystifying plan to re-birth humanity was set in motion.  A new breed was seeded, and Jesus was the first born among many brethren. Jesus walked in unpolluted union with God.  He was not born of Adam, thus He never knew the seed of separation. He was capable of sin, yet without sin.  He had only One Father. He…

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No Judgment

Judgment can be a ravenous wolf or subtle like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  It finds its way into the fold any way it can and even whispers through the veil of many prayers.  Variations of the 'thank God I'm not like other people' prayer abound. I want to see the truth that when I judge another, I judge myself.  It is a two-edged sword and I cannot have one without the other. When I draw conclusions about you, I pronounce judgment and execute a sentence upon myself to perform in opposition of that which I have judged. It can be as simple as saying, "You are messy", and in that moment a demand is put upon myself to "be tidy".  The judgment places a rule upon myself and bondage is its fruit.  With every judgment comes a sentence and with every sentence comes imprisonment. Inevitably, I find myself living within the confines of trying not to be like you even though I inherently know that, in actuality, I am just like you.  Living becomes a performance impossible to sustain.  I will fail, and in so doing I will be found guilty of that which I judged.

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Organically Choosing Life

I looked in a concordance and found that the word choose (in Hebrew) means: to take a close look at something to determine my preference in the matter. It holds the connotation of testing or examining.  The root origin is related to tilling, turning over, or preparing the ground. The idea is that, through examination, I am able to distinguish the best or most useful options in my life. I believe making a choice is more organic than commonly assumed.  Organically speaking, I grow into choices that reflect who I am even as who I am comes into focus. An ugly duckling of a choice becomes a swan in time.  True choosing is a process and like any process it is perfected over time.  The fruit born proves the good nature of the seed that was planted. There are stages in its development when it will look awkward, but in the end, it is a reflection of Christ in me, as me. As I am asked to 'choose life' I am asked to take a keen look, to test and examine life, to till its ground...until I am able to recognize life as my most valuable option. I choose through recognition. If I liken choice to preference then self-awareness plays a key role in making choices that fit. To know myself is to know my preferences. It is a matter of identity - a key element of the gospel.  My inability to choose God was solved when God chose me. Fallen humanity had a fallen nature - filled with fallen choices. God solved this conundrum by crucifying fallen humanity in Christ, joining us to Himself, making a brand new creation where the two have become one. The goal of the gospel is to reveal God's view.  God sees me in union with Christ. Words like fallen, cursed, or sin-natured are false images in the context of a new creation. I am not depraved, hard-hearted, sinful, disobedient, unwilling, unteachable, unsubmitted, or rebellious. These words simply do not define a new creature. I share in Christ's divine nature; His nature is infusing my own and my choices are affected by that truth. Redemption is a reality but it is hard to manifest when the 'good news' I continue to hear is far less than good! Many voices would tie me to a corrupt nature, even though the Gospel is radically good news that claims otherwise.  More good news still, God uses all things for the good of those who love Him.  I don't need to be preoccupied with darkness or light; God uses them both for His purpose. To believe Him and to trust His work is to remember all He did to fashion this new creation.  Remembering who I am in each moment is the work that automatically aligns choice with true preference. I choose according to who I perceive myself to be. Who I perceive myself to be is changing everyday. Choosing is a simple matter of self-recognition. To see…

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Expansive Boundaries

The more I recognize myself in union with Christ the more comfortable I am with myself.  I tap His expression in me and it incites me to be who I am. When identity is at rest, then personal boundaries emerge to safeguard false identifications with other people, causes, or roles. Definition comes to the foreground as the branch draws life from the Vine. People perish for lack of vision. Vision is more than a goal to lose weight, run a marathon, write a book, or to organize clutter. Vision is about seeing who I am. As His image in me takes shape I find a worthy reason to be myself.  Apart from that vision, there is nothing worth fighting for.  With the vision comes the desire to carve out the space for incubating clearer vision.  It is the vision that calls for the boundaries. A boundary is not meant to limit size or space; it actually creates the necessary space for developing my privacy in Christ. Privacy with Him expands my capacity for others. He transforms self-focus into generosity.  Setting the boundary is a generous step.  It clears the path so the transformation can be authentic (uncontrived, unfeigned).  He makes Himself clear in me so that what He has to say can set my standards.  When it comes to His will for my life He makes it known to me first.  This establishes my confidence in His voice above all others. In general, a lack of personal boundaries clouds personal clarity.  To find, apply, and respect my own boundaries is healthy love and self-respect which precedes healthy love and respect for others. A boundary keeps me from crossing the line when condemnation and judgment join allegiance. It keeps me 'on my side' by creating the space for continual recognition of Christ in me, as me. In 2004 the Lord spoke to me of boundaries and said, "Susan, where there are no boundaries there will eventually be barriers.  Boundaries support relationships, barriers do not.  Barriers are walls that separate; boundaries are simply lines that denote restriction; barriers divide, boundaries protect; barriers offend, boundaries command respect." Years later, I have an even greater appreciation!  Experience is a great teacher.  I love the learning process and the natural form that faith takes as lessons are inherently implemented in my daily walk.  Life holds joy when I move in accordance with His word and will in me, showing honor to myself and others thereby.  I am who I really am as I rest easy in who He is in me. I live trusting the 'us' that He is forming.  His unique perspective in and through me is what makes me who I am. I ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life…

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Receiving Help

Where there is unbelief, there is no rest. Unbelief keeps me working in the hope that one day I will accomplish enough to be worthy of rest.  But rest is not the result of work, it is the result of faith. Rest occurs when I trust that all the work is already done even though I wasn't the one to do it.  My external behavior will always reflect my inner posture.  Am I struggling? Am I able to rest in the quality of the work done by someone else?  How often do I feel the need to follow up behind them to make sure the job was done according to my standard?  True rest comes to me when I do not think of myself more highly than I ought! I am not the only one who can do a job right; and just because it was done differently than I would have done it, does not mean it was done wrong!  Arrogance won't let me experience the rest that could come to me in the form of another person.  When I can let someone else do the work for me then I am entering the beginning stages of rest.  Peace occurs when I don't heed the false need to improve upon the work they did. It is important to receive a gift (or help) for what and how it is.  Help is not necessarily what I thought I needed, wanted or even asked for.  Like any gift, help is often given at the whim of the giver. To receive the nakedness of the gift that was given means I won't try to exchange if for something else.  Only when a gift is fully received can it be fully revealed and thus appreciated. God gives the gift of people.  Appreciation opens the gift, and its meaning and purpose is then cultivated over time. People are fragile (yet flexible) gifts and God intends careful handling.  His are good and perfect gifts to be engaged lovingly and respectfully at all times. As I look with wonderment at the differences between God's gifts (people), I gain appreciation for His discernment of which gifts most compliment my being. His gifts aren't always an obvious pairing.  The seeming mismatch may be difficult to appreciate, but the unique perspectives are not without reason.   There is much to glean from each other's point of reference.  We need not rush toward the agreement that may come later.  I am encouraged to enjoy the differences instead of trying to coerce conformity. Spiritually speaking, there is no real work left to be done.  The only thing left is the rest.  There is a strong contrast between rest and work, love and law, desire and obligation.  Obligation feels hard, like work.  Desire feels easy, like rest.  I am meant to live in the ease of being myself and living in restful agreement with who I am.  From the place of true desire I can accomplish many things.  I may look busy…

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Grace-filled Seasons

Why does it seem that religion does not foster the same gracious embrace of spiritual seasons as is extended toward natural ones?  Every part of my life (spiritual growth, marriage, ministry, finance, social outreach, etc) undergoes the changing of the seasons – winter, spring, summer, and autumn are facts of life on every level.  Some years have more drought or pestilence than others - but I cannot make it rain or stop the locusts.  I can however, trust God in it all. Winter is cold and uncomfortable by nature. It's a fact – but I don't turn on myself or question my heart just because it's snowing outside!  I allow it to be what it is – a time of physical rest.  I rely on the food I gathered from a previous harvest without complaining that the ground is now frozen. I might sit by a fire and consider past mistakes, but I will also allow the hibernation of the season to repair the damage and to prepare me for the rigors of what the upcoming springtime will demand. Spring is an active time of implementing the quiet insight and instruction I gained in the winter.  It requires spiritual and physical energy – for it is time to plow the ground that is newly thawed.  The ground may be fallow and in need of great fertilization before I can even plant my first seed…but it's okay because it is spring and my energy is renewed!  I don't feel daunted by the task in the way that I would if I were trying to "force myself" to do in winter what was intended for me to do in spring! If winter is cold by nature then summer is hot! It requires frequent watering and weeding of the freshly planted crop.  The crop is in danger from the heat of the day and I protect it with my focused attention. Summer requires a lot of mental vigilance but it is also when I catch the first glimpse of the fruit of my labor. The seed sprouts and gives me hope. Autumn is harvest time! I reap the reward of spring and summer.  I give thanks, eat the fruit, and store up for the winter that is surely coming again. Allowing the seasons (both natural and spiritual) to be what they are is graceful.  God initiated the seasons and only He knows how long each one will last.  He isn't asking me to live in perpetual spring.  He's okay with winter, and drought, and flood, and locust, and the beauty of spring and summer and the changing colors of the fall. If I don't allow myself the experience of my own seasons then the whole cycle of my being goes off kilter.  I become susceptible to legalism and performance pressure as I try to "perform" outside of the season I am in. I may even misconstrue what I believe I hear God saying to me because of ingrained ideologies that suggest I should…

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Resurrection Day!

          Happy Resurrection Day to all my beloved.  I miss our traditional sunrise service and Easter breakfast.  I am happy that Michele and Eric are hosting their own; my heart aches to be there.  I will wake up early, go out on my deck, watch the sunrise, and celebrate my Lord's resurrection and ascension!  I am with you in spirit! The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances.  ~Robert Flatt Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there.  ~Clarence W. Hall And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him.  For He departed, and behold, He is here. ~St Augustine Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. ~Pope John Paul II Every character has an inward spring; let Christ be that spring. Every action has a keynote; let Christ be that note, to which your whole life is attuned. ~Henry Drummond

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One Another

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Romans 12:10 NIV Psalm 149:9 tells us that the Lord is the honor of all His saints.  Therefore, we honor Him as we honor one another.  Both love and honor are born in the heart.  As my heart yields to honor, the words of my mouth echo the love in my heart. Other directives linked to the phrase 'one another' include:  love one another, prefer one another, receive one another, serve one another, forbear one another, teach one another, forgive one another, comfort one another, edify one another, exhort one another, consider one another, and admonish one another. We are directed NOT to: judge one another, provoke one another, envy one another, devour one another, betray one another, or hate one another.  The term 'one another' levels the field to safeguard saints against self importance.  We honor people, gifts, positions, commissions, callings, and appointments - and those appointed are subject to the equalizing effects of the 'one another' scriptures to which we all subscribe. 1 Peter 1:22 talks about having unfeigned love for the brethren and Ephesians 4:15 asks me to speak the truth in love.  The Holy Spirit connected these verses to show me that until the love in my heart is unfeigned the truth spoken is as offensive as clanging brass - doing more harm than good, more dishonor than honor. If the intent is not pure then the noticeable absence of love becomes a stumbling block.  The reproof of truth will cut, not cure.  One word of correction from a heart filled with love is sweeter than all the world's flattery.  Truth spoken in love prepares a heart for repentance.  Kindness is the tone of honor that coaxes a greater expression of Christ from each of us. I want to live agreeable with who I am.  If Christ is my life then love is my highest form of self expression. I don’t want to bring correction to others because I think it's what they need.  I want to speak truth because 'love' is who I am - with no expectation or demand for any particular reaction, response, or adjustment.   I simply want to be myself - submitted and subdued by love - and wholesome enough to leave the results up to Him.  I want to speak truth from an empathetic source that genuinely hurts when another hurts...not because the hurting human is offensive or inconvenient. The Lord never leaves nor forsakes.  The flesh is present with its sin, rebellion, and carelessness yet it does not cause the Lord break fellowship with me.  Grace abounds and mercy triumphs.  Goodness is lavished and love continues to take the initiative toward me - the object of His affection. As I practice this same generosity it becomes impossible to withhold forgiveness from another.  Others need the same freedom that I need - that we might all attain full stature (Ephesians 4:13).  Every person is fighting a great battle. …

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Lay it Down

When beliefs are tested the ground can seem unstable. I trust these places with the Lord now, whether or not I fully comprehend the new landscape.  Sometimes, He removes 'go betweens' and, instead, positions me in His direct line of communication.  When He does, I know He is asking me to find my own answers apart from other voices. I am free to name the prescribed beliefs that I have trouble swallowing. As I describe my symptoms to the Lord I am trusting His diagnosis. Contradictions, disagreements, and interpretive differences are not symptomatic of a fatal flaw or spiritual disease.  They may simply be a call for inner exploration. He can form insights that are mine to contain and communicate as Christ in me. Subject matter and delivery styles may differ between us and another, but the validity of nuances will bear His seal. It is important that I learn to trust Him as He is in me regardless of if how He is in me is received by others. The perspective He is solidifying belongs to Him - not to me or to another.  It was here before I was born and will be here after I'm gone. The message He ascribes in me is for me first before it is for others. In Luke 22:32 Jesus told Peter, "When you are converted, then strengthen your brethren."  This has been a lonely season, but my loneliness belongs to Him first, before any other.  He maintains His right to comfort me. I am being with Him as He desires at this time so that, ultimately, it may benefit others. I press the dark for all that He has for me and resist the craving for external agreements. I am offering Him everything I think about Him, the scope of His redemptive work, and relationship with Him.  It is an offering that only He can guard and keep.  His intent for me to live from His personal word to me is intense (1 Kings 13). I've thought of Paul and how difficult it would be to do what he did. Paul said he did not receive the gospel that he preached from man nor was he taught it by a man.  He received it by revelation of Jesus Christ (Galatians 1:11,12).  Upon his conversion he did not confer with flesh and blood. He was privately tutored by the Lord for three years before meeting with Peter for fifteen days (Galatians 1:16-24).  After that, he preached his revelation of grace for another fourteen years before coming back to Jerusalem at which time he brought correction to certain apostles who were sliding back under the Law. When they perceived the grace that he was given, they gave him the right hand of fellowship (Galatians 2). Now that's trusting the Lord with your education! It feels like a battle to trust the Lord with my education.  Beliefs are easily dispensed in neat little boxes. Doctrine can feel like a judge that makes me afraid…

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I Wait, but I Walk; I Walk, but I Wait

God is both the Author and the Finisher of my faith. He creates, and He maintains what He has created.  I am His and He provides for me. Even nature heralds the sweet dependency of waiting upon Him for all things.  As I wait, He increases and I decrease; therefore I continue to trust His instruction for me to wait for His "irresistible movement" within me. Waiting on Him is restoration in motion.  I feel most at home in the awareness that I am wholly dependent on Him; it is the necessity of my true being. Unceasing dependence upon Him is cleansing my faith and religious beliefs.  It is the raw expression of my relationship with Him in whom I live and move and have my being. I wait on Him and He awakens my whole attention as His servant and His vessel. I am not waiting on myself to see what I feel or what changes will come to me.  I wait on God; first to know Who He is, and then to see what He will do. I only want to do those things that I see Him doing in me; as I wait in Him He purifies the view of His life in mine.  His word makes known His ways, His grace makes known His power.  I wait, and He ignites both within my heart. I cannot keep His ways any more than I can manufacture grace.  To try is to strip my every confidence in Him. I am surrendered to willingly and trustingly keep His ways...but in the strength I receive as I wait in Him. I do not doubt that I am His without reserve.  He proves Himself to be my God as He works in me that which is pleasing in His sight through Christ. I see His ways in His word, as nature unfolds, as His providence points them out, and as the Holy Spirit indicates.  But I know them as I wait in His presence. It matters not that I am weak, only that I am willing...and He takes care of that. He who has worked to will, will also work to do by His power.  My waiting is born in recognition of my impotence and His omnipotence. He is the only  true power there is.  I am content to receive from Him (each moment) the workings of His grace and life.  Waiting on God is my strength to run and not be weary, to walk and never faint. I wait, but I walk. I walk, but I wait. If the fleshly mind takes hold it will misconstrue the motive. The flesh makes "action" the highest measure of man. Its emphasis assumes too much autonomy and will subtly separate doing from being. As a doer of the word (not a hearer only) I must remember that the word is spirit not flesh.  Acting on the word is a spiritual response.  It belongs to the spirit and when proceeding from the spirit it…

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