2009 – Page 3 – Windmills in Moonlight

The Irresistible “Woo”

Post author:Susan
Post category:Trust Union
Post comments:0 Comments

“Mountains crumble in the presence of those who know how to wait, watch, and then boldly walk through the passage that appears before them.” —Guy Finley

I don’t fully understand this place I’ve entered; but somehow, in spite of the darkness (or maybe because of it), I am comprehending what aids trust and am letting go of that which opposes it. God gets smaller in my eyes each time my attention shifts to “my part” in procuring change. Real change occurs – and when it comes it’s not optional; it is God who makes the demand for change, engineers the circumstances for change, and supplies the passion to make the change.

We can’t change our heart and the heart is where all true change occurs. We can feel desperate, but we can’t make our desperation real anymore than we can manufacture our own repentance. God is the author and finisher of our faith. We speak, pray, cry aloud, and groan too deeply for utterance but it is always in response to His groaning within us. His presence is irresistible; His beckoning is deafening; His urging irrefutable. He aches and we can’t help but ache in return.

He brought me to this place and insists I receive only what is good and right for me. The circumstances seem bitter but I know they bring better things to come. It tarries, and I wait. The seedling has the right to grow even when I barely see any change in its stature. Hope never fades and love never fails!

I keep anticipating certain outcomes and time frames. Through disappointment, I reach for the irresistible woo of God to trust that an opening will appear in this seemingly solid wall. Yes, I’m sure He’s not asking me to take a pick axe and force an opening! He’s asking me to wait; to watch and see as His providence turns a partition into a passageway. He is getting bigger in my eyes every time I resist the urge to eradicate my own problems.

I stay willing – instead of willful. I wait (even when it makes no sense) and as I wait God is mounting trust (like a steed) and riding triumphantly — establishing my heart in the fact that He is too big to need anything from me at all. In this personal relationship, I am the object of His affection. He is silencing the fear of loss by becoming the only thing that matters and that which can never be lost or taken from me. To God be the glory!

For Love or Money?

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves Letting Go
Post comments:0 Comments

Living from the head instead of the heart will blind me to who I am and what I want to do in life. There are dozens of roles to play, duties to perform, or jobs to work to earn money; and the mind will easily justify forsaking what I want in lieu of the money I could make at jobs I dislike.

Discontent and unrest are born if the desires of the heart are sacrificed for money. What good is money without joy? What good is money if the “real me” isn’t present to use it? Taking a job that frustrates my being will generate grief and conflict. If my vocation is not in harmony with who I am then I’ll spend money to feel better about myself through the things I can buy.

Greed will emerge as repeated attempts to be satisfied by possessions fail. I’ll keep trying on “new things” to alleviate my misery. My ability to spend money in accordance with my true nature will be compromised by the unrelenting dissatisfaction I feel having abandoned my heart for the sake of income.

At this juncture, I don’t know what else to do but trust God to lead me through this maze. The head screams, the heart aches, the spirit leaps, and the flesh shakes…but through it all God remains active in me…faithfully finishing the good work He began.

Evidence of Grace

Post author:Susan
Post category:Being Ourselves
Post comments:2 Comments

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” Romans 12:6
I’ve stopped looking at what another can do to measure what I think I should be able to do. What you do may be difficult for me and what’s easy for me may not be for you. Let’s not make our gifts an opportunity to judge or compare. Gifts are in accordance with the grace that’s been given. I have the grace that matches my gifts. It’s like getting a toy car for Christmas with the batteries included. I am given the gift and the energy that goes along with it. I recognize gifts by their accompanying grace.

“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy; but it does mean that even when it’s tough I’ll have the grace to face the hard work. My desire to conquer the difficulty is in proportion to the grace that’s been given.

“I have written you quite boldly on some points because of the grace God gave me.” Romans 15:15
Paul spoke boldly because of the grace he was given. Others have a merciful gift and speak with greater empathy because of the grace given to them. The point is to be who I am, to accept myself, and to give all that I have. I can’t give what I don’t have or try to be who I am not. People need me for who I am. I love who He’s made me to be. I am equally as valuable as those whose gifts differ from my own.

“Those reputed to be pillars gave me the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that I should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews. All they asked was that I should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.” Galatians 2:9-10
Grace distinguishes me from others. When a particular grace is evidenced then room is made for that gift. The right hand of fellowship is offered because it’s hard to argue with grace! Grace evidences God’s choice. When I have the grace to do something it is like a spotlight shining on me. Those who see will allow me to do what I’m gifted to do. The gift makes room for itself and each person’s gift becomes relevant and equal.

And, in the light of the grace that’s been given, I remember the poor. I offer my gift, my substance, and my being with no need for reward or response. I give because I want what’s been invested in me to yield an increase in myself and others. I will do what I’ve been graced to do and to leave the rest for someone else. I may never know why or fully understand how another life is impacted when I am just “me”…but God does, and that’s what matters.