“Mountains crumble in the presence of those who know how to wait, watch, and then boldly walk through the passage that appears before them.” —Guy Finley
I don’t fully understand this place I’ve entered; but somehow, in spite of the darkness (or maybe because of it), I am comprehending what aids trust and am letting go of that which opposes it. God gets smaller in my eyes each time my attention shifts to “my part” in procuring change. Real change occurs – and when it comes it’s not optional; it is God who makes the demand for change, engineers the circumstances for change, and supplies the passion to make the change.
We can’t change our heart and the heart is where all true change occurs. We can feel desperate, but we can’t make our desperation real anymore than we can manufacture our own repentance. God is the author and finisher of our faith. We speak, pray, cry aloud, and groan too deeply for utterance but it is always in response to His groaning within us. His presence is irresistible; His beckoning is deafening; His urging irrefutable. He aches and we can’t help but ache in return.
He brought me to this place and insists I receive only what is good and right for me. The circumstances seem bitter but I know they bring better things to come. It tarries, and I wait. The seedling has the right to grow even when I barely see any change in its stature. Hope never fades and love never fails!
I keep anticipating certain outcomes and time frames. Through disappointment, I reach for the irresistible woo of God to trust that an opening will appear in this seemingly solid wall. Yes, I’m sure He’s not asking me to take a pick axe and force an opening! He’s asking me to wait; to watch and see as His providence turns a partition into a passageway. He is getting bigger in my eyes every time I resist the urge to eradicate my own problems.
I stay willing – instead of willful. I wait (even when it makes no sense) and as I wait God is mounting trust (like a steed) and riding triumphantly — establishing my heart in the fact that He is too big to need anything from me at all. In this personal relationship, I am the object of His affection. He is silencing the fear of loss by becoming the only thing that matters and that which can never be lost or taken from me. To God be the glory!