December 2008 – Windmills in Moonlight

Being Loved

Post author:Susan
Post category:Letting Go
Post comments:2 Comments

All true meaning comes from being loved. To love unconditionally promotes safety in others. A glorious sense of belonging permeates the air. If I put conditions on my love then you are left with only the struggle to be lovable. This is slavery – the place where performance pressure is in full swing. How miserable it is to try to be loved – how ecstatic to be loved just as I am. Trying to be loved creates bondage, being loved fosters freedom. To fear the loss of love is to live in the struggle to behave lovely at all times. This destroys freedom by raising an impossible bar.

Fear has a cruel nature and unyielding torment. Its objective is to shroud the present moment – the place where Love dwells. God wins my heart by loving me in spite of myself, right here, right now. He leads me to my highest and best without making me feel inferior or defective along the way. Love completely disarms fear. If fear compels me to “get more” or to “hold back,” then Love bids me to “let go” and “live extravagantly.” Love is all for me and my freedom is its goal. When love sets me free then love for others is unrestrained in me.

I Want to See

Post author:Susan
Post category:Letting Go
Post comments:3 Comments

I’ve been watching myself squirm in this time of seeming blindness. While trusting God I occasionally find myself wishing I could see a little further down the line. As I settle down I remember that “seeing” comes to me in His time. He brings truth and unveils the answers to the prayers that lay hidden within me.

Seeing clears the path between the inner kingdom and the outer world. It is the evidence of our relationship – the fruit of our union. I follow in the dark until the light shines. I want to see…and each day a little more clutter is removed from my view. As I go, my opinions fall away. Letting go of old thoughts is like breaking out of a cage. I am my own prison and He’s here to set me free.

He removes the deceptions that I’ve perceived as real. He molds my desires in conformity to His will and brings me to full agreement with Himself. He constrains my longing heart and noisy head. I find my desires and trust them to be His will. He reveals the snares, their roots, and the wisdom for chopping them down. I can rest…He is perfecting that which concerns me!

Undivided Trust

Post author:Susan
Post category:Trust Union
Post comments:8 Comments

Forgiveness makes me feel better, regardless of the response. Forgiveness, like love and respect, is unconditional. I forgive because it is who I am; it has nothing to do with merit. Even trust is without contingence (although I was taught that trust is earned). I trust simply because I feel better when I do – determining that trust, like love, is a part of who I am. If my trust is abused, I trust on… remaining in agreement with my true being. The way I see it, everybody wins – I’m true to myself, and the trust I extend is more likely to draw out the best in others. It’s a matter of faith – I trust God with my heart therefore I’m not afraid to give it away.

To clarify, I unconditionally trust CHRIST. I trust Him in me and in you; my position is anchored to my view of union. Trust is easy when I view all things in Christ. If your words or actions cause me pain then heightened trust will find the good. I can trust Christ even if He is not overtly obvious. I believe in the divine spark or the measure of faith that’s been given to all men. I trust Christ as the all in all and trust Him to ignite the spark in others. I trust with Christ’s own trust and extract His presence from unusual places. This trust is linked to God. I trust God alone…therefore I trust everything else.

Undivided trust finds the good. Painful occurrences become vital catalysts for taking needed steps. I’m hindered only when I judge an action (judgment severs trust) and lose sight of Love”s bigger message. God intends to save me from the illusion of separation – even if it hurts. When Love speaks through hurtful situations He may be asking me to repent, or to get over myself; He may be asking me to love hilariously or to set a much needed boundary; or He may even be asking me to courageously walk away from an abusive relationship. In any event, I can trust without condition that what is occurring is exactly what is needed to purify this vessel.

Discernment is not nullified; however a suspicious mind is often dubbed “discernment” while fear and faithlessness go undetected. Trusting Christ remains the key. Even my world view changes with this kind of trust. I fear less knowing that nothing gets to me that doesn’t first pass through God. Everything works for the good. God gets bigger in my eyes and His generous outlook becomes my own. Worldly attempts at security or self-protection are put to rest as I nestle into the truth that God is in control. Life is simpler, I am happier, and freedom of movement is accompanied by peace and joy.

I’m enjoying the exploration and the journey. By the way, thanks, Claudia, for the term “undivided trust.” Not only have I pondered it regarding trusting God “no matter what” but it fits with what the Lord is speaking in me regarding relationships with others…

The Cross

Post author:Susan
Post category:Letting Go
Post comments:0 Comments

When I look at mental anguish I see the soul struggling to find solace. Inner noise is vexation and letting go of the racket is the key to calm. Lack of forgiveness, judgment, and self defense are large contributors to noise pollution. Dwelling on an offense or tightly clinging to a principle is crippling. The cross of Christ is the threshold for letting go. The cross offers energy for living and dying – that which needs to die finds the power to do so, and that which longs for life finds new birth. With the cross as a pen and my heart as the paper, writing is an avenue of healing. But even writing, without the cross, can be just the soul’s inferior coping mechanism.

A hungry soul aches for a place to crucify the accuser and its endless demands. With every cross-less attempt to stop the chaos, 10 more voices amp up the volume. My soul has no way to escape this abuse on her own; forgiveness becomes my true lover and the cross our marriage bed. The kindness of the cross mutes the noise and filters the false from the real. It is my passage to soundness of mind, wholeness, congruity, simplicity and true union. Some may look at the cross and call it crazy – but those who’ve danced with insanity know the difference.

Limiting Needs

Post author:Susan
Post category:Letting Go
Post comments:0 Comments

Turmoil occurs because the soul believes she is the crux of my being. The soul is like waves in the sea, tossed by changing winds of doctrine. She is not the wind, nor the gravitational pulls that cause a tide to rise and fall. She is simply a responder and expresser of that which influences her. With proud thinking she mimics the authenticity of the spirit. She struggles to make peace with the world’s view – forgetting that the real me is dead to it and has no need to conform to its image. When the soul is influenced by memories of a false and fallen self she continues to crave the trivialities of the world. She clamors for position and longs for recognition, but the true self knows herself beyond such limiting needs.

Remember the New Creation!

Post author:Susan
Post category:Union
Post comments:2 Comments

When I revisit the illusion that I can alter my own condition impatience anxiously awaits. The pressure coaxes me to bow to the image of a separate self and to demand improvement from myself. If I bow, disappointment steers my perception. Doubt and discouragement flourish – and for good reason – for when expectations are grounded in the belief that I can ”will a change” apart from God then I am destined for yet another object lesson in the impotence of mankind. Self-doubt thrives in separated thinking. Negative perceptions such as, “I’m not good ground, I’m rebellious, or I’m lazy” are images forged by lies. True discipline is refusing to gaze upon such graven images. The victory cry becomes, “Remember the new creation!” Born in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ, the new creation rises from the rubble of fallen man to become my reality. It’s not a matter of if she will prevail, but rather when will her prevalence be my only impetus? I look to Christ’s image carved upon my heart, beyond the scrutiny of the world and its religion. I am looking past the temporal to that which is eternal. It is an exercise in focused attention – the true work of believing.