Claudia said the road trip would be a God journey – about far more than the obvious. Was it ever! From my angle, it was a continued weaning from the false cry for identity, definition, and the labels I’d placed on myself. There was darkness, and in the end… sweet light that revealed God’s right to define me.
I often felt I was in a very dark cave. There by appointment, but uncomfortable none-the-less. The cave was painful. Unable to see, I stubbed my toe and hit my shin; but I couldn’t back up. I had to keep going knowing I might bump my head too.
Darkness tested the paradox between the unalienable right to be myself and the freedom to be nobody at all. The silence hurt my ears but I did not cover them. Shedding pretense was worth losing what I thought was so important. I faced flaws… deep, dark, spiritual flaws; the kinds that mar the character and mask true identity. I was pained until I saw that the obstacles I bumped in the dark were the things I was unwilling to see about myself.
I am back, but the journey continues. Humility severed the need for definition and revealed that I was never undefined. I am who He says I am; He calls me a writer. I belong to Him; He will prove Himself through me in the vein of His choosing.
You did it again. You gave yourself a new look. I love it! the gradiated blues, the windmills in the moonlight charging up HIS THOUGHTS within you like the little eggs in the basket there, ultimately to grow WITH beautiful fragrant flowers for Him to enjoy. All that I see in just the heading. Nevermind all the treasured jewels in the content herein. I also love the words below: I write to work out what God has already worked in . . . !!!
Oh yes Susan! You are a writer or . . . He writes Himself well within you! Same thing!
Now for the GIFT OF HIMSELF once again revealed in His Susan form . . . “Humility severed the need for definition and REVEALED that I was never undefined.” Thank you dear Lord! Thank you for your faithfulness to always remind us how it is we enter into your HOLY REST.
I will lay my legions of self down . . . into all that You already are within me.
BYW: WELCOME HOME!!!
I’m glad you like the site because I may never change it again! My brother Stephan suggested I use a photograph that my Dad had taken of a windmill in New Mexico. The idea resonated within me. He sent the photo and I began to build a look to reflect who I am and from whence I come. So, the windmill is Dad’s photo, representing the generation of light and energy from nothing more than an unseen wind; the inkwell is Christ, the writer within; the bird’s nest is for my Mom – her love of birds and her belief in the nest egg of truth within me; and the Lily of the Valley…well, that is what the name ‘Susan’ means in Hebrew. The Lord often parallels the characteristics of that flower with who He’s fashioned me to be. The site feels simple and clean. Put it together and it feels like a fit.
I like the way you said, “He writes Himself well within you.” It takes care of any need for false humility.
I also love your closing line…”I will lay my legions of self down…into all that You already are within me.” Again, eradicating pride and false humility and confirming that He is the all in all.
Thanks for being a voice out here…it’s fun, huh?!
This new look is way cool! “I’m lov’in it”. It is very romantic and intelligent. It’s great to have you guys back! Love ya!
Well, I make everyone I know look at your site! And everyone is so impressed with your design. As for me, I am just impressed!!!
And if you never did change it again, that would be uncharacteristic for you but wonderful! I love the symbolism and meaning behind all of the images you’ve selected. And I love the way you’ve laid it out and the tint that you’ve selected. I definitely see YOU in it, but also, our whole clan! I love that uncle Stevie had a hand in it and that grandma and grandpa are both in it…it’s perfect, mom. P.S. I keep the bluebird you gave us all for Christmas on proud display in my room–it is so good to remember who we are woven from! I love you more than words!!!
The site looks beautiful Susan…beautiful, but where is the picture of your father? Is he in the windmill somewhere?
Thanks, Jaque. I may have worded the part about the windmill and my Dad’s photo…I just meant that he took the picture of the windmill. His personal photograph is not hidden in it! Glad you like the look of the site…