I’m still exercising the freedom to be seasonally undefined. I’m born to be who Christ has chosen to be in me; being me is the highest form of gratitude I can give to Him. I’ve had difficulty knowing just who this ‘me’ is. I’ve melded into others like a chameleon. Coming into my own is liberating, albeit confusing. I think that’s why He keeps giving me permission to be ‘no one.’ We’re starting with a blank canvas so I can identify my own color palette, and then use it to express myself in myriad ways.
I’m endeavoring to see myself, others, and all of life from the Father’s view. I see many expressions of One Christ – with no lines of discrimination. Jesus said, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.” In Him, I embody the same paradoxical union. More circles…it’s not a me story, it’s a God story…and yet, in many ways, it’s about no one else but me.
He is convincing me that ‘I’ am what makes my life worth living. To receive myself is to receive the only gift I can ever give to others. I cannot give who I wish I were or who I try to be. I can only give you me. During the last few years I have had to find, receive, and employ my own know-how for living, and in the process I am finding that I am my own reward.
Receiving myself eradicates the feeling that anything is missing in my life. I’m my own missing link and the only gift I can keep on giving. Here’s my point… before receiving myself, I could not be a self for others; now that I have, I can be nothing less! I’ve come undone…and found wholeness. Paradox and circles…you gotta love ’em!
Wow Mom, this is probably my favorite post to date if only because of the phrase “He is convincing me that ‘I’ am what makes my life worth living.” That is a biggie…it’s another paradox, is it not? We are on the one hand to embrace who we are today and yet we are also to realize the fine art of becoming who we are. I used to always say in my journals that I wanted to be the person I saw when I closed my eyes. This is tricky; especially since life is lived with eyes open, though I read a quote recently which said, “I shut my eyes in order to see!” Paradox and circles, indeed. Nice photo gallery by the way!
Hi Susan, I was very lifted and refreshed by This good word. “before receiving myself, I could not be a self for others;”
I find that one of the phrases that comes out of my mouth most frequent is this, I know the only thing that makes me feel life is worth living at all is to serve others or as you put it, to be a self for others. Yet here Iam rejecting who I am. In a constant cycle of wishing to be like someone else or using all my energy trying to measure up to this picture of what I should be and falling very short. Your words again, “I’m my own missing link and the only gift I can keep on giving.” I am not condemned only grateful that I am me and that is all I ever have to be.
Thanks for the comments…it’s the kind of validation that let’s me know I’m not alone. I’m scratching the surface of my own true voice, so I’ll keep dropping a few lines and hope the words find a healthy home in the hearts of my friends and family.