An Old Pattern
Have you ever tried to “read people” to find the meaning behind their actions? This is a pattern that could be carried over from childhood. Children try on new friendships like shoes, looking for the ones that fit. We’ve all lost childhood friendships to what seemed like upgrades. Kids (not usually in touch with their motives) don’t often say why they’re “moving on,” they just treat the former friend differently. As this happens, we can feel the shift in their affection and if we misinterpreted the cue to “bug off,” their indifference can turn to cruelty. As children, we often have to figure out the “end” of a friendship by examining subtleties and inferences.
The pattern can carry into adulthood and we can waste a lot of energy looking for signs of the impending end of relationships. The tendency to “read people” entangles us and our experiences only strengthen the cords. We can easily take the approach of “taking the hint” when we feel we are no longer valued. If we don’t feel we are preferred we can feel replaced and think it is up to us to figure it out just by reading the “signs”.
If the pattern carries, we can expect the same behavior from God. We believe that He will only lead us indirectly; He’ll drop a few hints, and expect us to figure it out from there. If we miss the mark, we have to live with the consequence of our misstep. Translation: little movement for fear of choosing wrong. Our view is skewed! God is not cryptic; He says what He means. Parables are pictures, not puzzles.
Shifting our focus onto God’s ability to lead, rather than our perceived need to interpret is our way out of this misguided thinking. Along the way, I’ve learned that direct communication is important to me. I am frustrated and disheartened when indirect approaches are taken. I can handle the truth. Please don’t lie to me or coddle me. The truth doesn’t hurt nearly as much as what my mind does when left to its own analysis. My mind can splinter an interpretation in a million different directions, exhausting me in the process. Don’t be rude, unkind, or insensitive – speak the truth in love – but please, speak the truth…
Let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ… Ephesians 4:15 AMP