I need to be myself so I can give myself away. I can’t give what I don’t have. To be less than myself is to continue to give with only self interest in view. My ulterior motives remain intact. This disqualifies me from meeting the true needs of others because I’d rather help them according to how I want to help them rather than how they would actually like to be helped. I’ll help in ways that make me feel good about myself.There is a paradox here. I cannot give what I do not have and yet I cannot have what I will not give. It is seemingly contradictory and yet it’s true: to find myself I had to give myself away. I never “found myself” in the selfish search of a self for the sake of self. I am made in the image of God and He is “The Self Who is for others.” Therefore I am found in the giving, not in the getting.
At first my giving was simply denying the false self’s claim to its own rights. But as the process continued my true nature surfaced. A higher form of self-surrender occurred when I was no longer laying down the false but rather picking up that which is real. Love found the “me” that is whole and complete so that others can receive a gift that is alive and active.